Welcome to the Girlfriends Over 40 blog companion to its social network website
10 Nov 2009 2 Comments
in Spiritual Healing for the Soul
The Girlfriends Over 40 Social Network http://www.girlfriendsover40.net/ is a members-only community that launches 11-11-09. Accompanying the launch of the parent organization, we also have this companion site, Girlfriends Over 40 Blog http://gfo40.wordpress.com/. It is the gfo40 blog that members, prospective members, and even the undecided and/or the curious. This is the place you can go (without becoming a member) to find the most up to date information with regard to the organization’s activities. For example, women’s empowerment conferences at exotic locations worldwide.
Girlfriends over 40 is not just another social network, instead we are women from around the world connecting virtually and physically for common causes and self-improvement. A unique social network that expands on a global online platform for women over 40 to connect. Women in this network are excited to have a safe place to meet and exchange ideas, life experiences, passions, insights, and all of it without judgment. When was the last time you woke up feeling excited?
So go ahead, take a peek, and bookmark the website and the blog to keep abreast of our activities and announcements. Once you see all the exciting things going on, I know you will want to be a part of this fast-growing community. And remember, membership is free. What have you got to lose? Lookaround and get to know us.
We are Girlfriends over 40. Not just a membership, but a Life Style.
Note: This blogsite is currently under construction. Feel free to look around, but please do come back as we have a lot more planned for these pages.
My Marriage Just Ended- How Do I Deal?
13 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized
Jean Keys-McKoy-Founder
Today’s blog is dedicated to one of my dearest girlfriends over 40 who recently lost her husband; whose still living.
My dearest girlfriend and sister,
In sharing your pain from my own personal experiences I would like you to know that I am here for you every step of the way. As your sister whose love is now in Christ I will be there to listen without judgement. In stead I will be there to help with your healing and spiritual restoration, I promise to pray and love you both in spite of the situation, and my last prayer to respect and support God’s will for whatever the outcome will be.
Please read the responses from other believers just like you and I who have gone through divorce, but the difference you will find in their comments a with others is their trust, faith, and love for God, and the willingness to change for the sake of Love.
Almost all of them understand that God can work it out. God can change the hearts and minds of others, so why not for a man and wife.
Some have ask how is this possible? I respond-…”Why? Because he is the creator of you and I. He’s God ALL Mighty the creator of the universe and all that is in it. Much like software developers who writes and designs programs-there the only one’s who can ever change what they’ve created. They are able to much it bigger and better than ever. This is what God does for a living..
I would urge you to read all the relative topics and comments that applies to your situation. The important key to understanding what is being said and quoted from scripture is to read in your bible the scriptures that are quotes by the writer.
I found it’s easy to use the bible online at www.biblegatway.com; there you can search by scripture numbers, verses, or topics like”Marriage”, and it will lead you to what God says about marriage between a man and women;there roles and responsibilities.
Nancy and guest Holly Elliff answer questions about marriage from a studio audience. Through these shared personal experiences you’ll be pointed to key verses in God’s words that will help your marriage be what God desires.
http://www.gospel.com/bookmarks/Better-Worse-Marriage-Tough/3912
I love you,
Jean Keys-McKoy
Girlfriends Over 40.net
Don’t Let Job Loss Kill You!
18 Mar 2011 6 Comments
in Uncategorized
Losing your job can feel like losing someone you love.
Why Me?
Think about it. First, there’s a financial aspect-you had money to feed your family, and now you don’t. That’s terrible. But there’s also the social aspect – missing your colleagues of which you spent 8-12 hours a day working with them 5-6 days per week, and now their suddenly out of your life. Promised are made to keep in touch, but that never happens.
There’s also the loss of identity. The person who you became is tied to your business card, which contains your name and title. Now, you have to walk around introducing yourself as “Unemployed” a title most people would never apply for. It’s no surprise that people who lose their job often go through a profound grieving process.There are many articles and books written about the stages of grief, and here I am writing….. yet another article. My article is written from personal experience of losing a job.
Today, I am going to share with you how I went through and survived all 5 stages.
Perhaps the biggest problem with job loss is not the sudden loss of income and activity but the effects it has on
the mind. The psychological and emotional impacts of job loss very often far outweigh the loss of income because
of the grieving process.
Any type of loss can cause grief. Large or small, loss causes grief. Your attachment to and dependency upon that
which was lost usually determines how quickly you overcome the grief experience. When a person is in a state of
grief or depression, he or she does not have the ability to perform at his or her best or highest level (which
inhibits one’s ability to search for a job or even function well in a new career opportunity).
Typically we think of death when we think of grief. We know that you must go through the grieving process to
overcome and move forward. The same is true with grief when dealing with the loss of a job. Believe it or not, job
loss is the loss of a loved one. Lots of people love their jobs. It may be a love-hate relationship but love still
exists. You work hard, you get a return – you basically have a relationship with the job! When that relationship
comes to an end – sudden, expected or unexpected – you can’t help but feel something. That something usually
isn’t something good! Very seldom is the only emotion total relief or utter joy.
“A job provides us with much more than a way to spend our time and a way to make money. Our identity and the
way others see us is often influenced by our jobs… Our jobs give us a chance to use our talents, to be productive
and share our lives with others,” take vacations, and paid for college for our children to have a better life.
When you loose your job, you feel you have lost your life line to exsistence. That is certainly grief.
But the best way to get through the grief from loss is to recognize why you are grieving, how you got so
attached, what it is exactly that you were attached to and finally, what will it take to get over the grief. Using our
talents, being productive, sharing our lives with others and molding the way others see us should not be
determined by or limited to our “9 – 5s”. That’s another conversation to be discussed at a later time.
Let’s look at the 5 stages of grief, then I want you to begin thinking about ways to move forward pass these stages.
Stage one is Denial or Shock- This occurs immediately upon learning that one no longer has a job.
ME?
People say things like “ I never thought this could happen to me” Some will experience the shock as a sense of denial . This is the first stage of shock that can be accompanied by emotional outburst or reactions to unrelated issues either in the home or other places. People may place greater importance on activities in other areas of their lives , such as hobbies or social activities. The feeling of emotional emptiness is real and it hits you like a ton of bricks.
REALLY
Stage Two:Anger
- How could they do this to me? This is where you begin to recall and list every great thing you’ve ever did at work and begin to rail against the weenies who don’t appreciate you. Your obsess about the unproductive people who surround you.
Shock. denial, anger.
- Maybe I should have done?
Stage Three: Reasoning:
Maybe if I just…..
Not everybody does this! some employees try like crazy to keep their jobs even after the ax has fallen. And those who were not terminated because of conduct, begin seeking other jobs within the company, even when it’s obvious the company is failing. Others offer to take pay cuts, take on extra work, go part-time…..anything to stay with the organization. occasionally this actually has worked.
I found that even when people choose to stay on, there are often bad feelings that makes for a miserable experience.
Stage Four: Depression:
I’m never going to get a job. This is a normal feeling in any job search,especially during the current economic times.
Many people are operating in stage four today with record breaking unemployment rates. The key is not to get struck here- accept it. And move on!
Think about it. People with impeccable credentials and skills are competing for entry-level positions.
Auhh...Acceptance!
Stage Five: Acceptance:
Well, that sucked! What’s next?
The fact is you will find another job. It might be a while or it may not, it all depends on how much you put into it. The rule of thumb prior to our current economic crisis was to add one week for each you spent in your last career field when seeking new career opportunities.
You will get through this. We will all get through this. In the meantime get back to basics and start thanking God for waking up you up thiss morning. Thank Him for the removing your from the daily stressors you put up with for years. Thank Him for waking you up healthy and in your right mind, with food and shelter; and some money to make your ends meet. Thank God for your friends and family who love and support you. Repent and seek forgiveness for edging Him out of your life at times. Now forgive yourself by confessing your sins, and allow Him to cleanse your from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).
Now is the time for you to really find the purpose God has for your life.
A new day comes in the morning.
Will you be ready for the new assignment and the journey God is about to take you on?
OPEN YOUR MIND, HEART and SPIRIT!
Allow GOD COMPLETE and TOTAL CONTROL overYour LIFE?
Here’s a little hint from me:
My learning and blessings that followed my job loss brought me into purpose.
Your purpose is discover; by discovering who you were really meant to be.
Your purpose is wrapped in your gifts, talents, time, desires, and passion when it comes to? This is where you have to discover the rest, sorry!
The seeds have been planted, may these words and shared knowledge and experience penetrate your soul.
Knowledge is where your life begins.
Warmest Blessings,
Jean Keys McKoy
Girlfriends Over 40 Blogger.
Warning of New Credit Card Scam
16 Mar 2011 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized
You can never Learn enough about scammers.
Visa / MasterCard FRAUD
Just a heads up to everyone regarding the latest in Visa fraud. Royal Bank received this communication about the newest scam. This is happening in southern Alberta right now and moving.
This one is pretty slick since they provide YOU with all the information, except the one piece they want..
Note, the callers do not ask for your card number; they already have it.
This information is worth reading by understanding how the VI S A & MasterCard telephone Credit Card S cam works. You’ll be better prepared to protect yourself. One of our employees was called on Wednesday from ‘VI S A’, and I was called on Thursday from ‘MasterCard’.
The scam works like this:
Person calling say – ‘This is (name), and I’m calling from the Security and Fraud Department at VI S A. My Badge number is 12460, your card has been flagged for an unusual purchase pattern, and I’m calling to verify. This would be on your VI S A card which was issued by (name of bank). Did you purchase an Anti-Telemarketing Device for $497.99 from a marketing company based in Arizona ?’ When you say ‘No’, the caller continues with, ‘Then we will be issuing a credit to your account. This is a company we have been watching and the charges range from $297 to $497, just under the $500 purchase pattern that flags most cards. Before your next statement, the credit will be sent to (gives you your address), is that correct?’ You say ‘yes’.
The caller continues – ‘I will be starting a Fraud Investigation. If you have any questions, you should call the 1- 800 number listed on the back of your card (1-800-VI S A) and ask for Security. You will need to refer to this Control Number.’ The caller then gives you a 6 digit number. ‘Do you need me to read it again?’
Here’s the IMPORTANT part on how the scam works – The caller then says, ‘I need to verify you are in possession of your card’. He’ll ask you to ‘turn your card over and look for some numbers’. There are 7 numbers; the first 4 are part of your card number, the last 3 are the Security Numbers that verify you are the possessor of the card. These are the numbers you sometimes use to make Internet purchases to prove you have the card. The caller will ask you to read the last 3 numbers to him. After you tell the caller the 3 numbers, he’ll say, ‘That is correct, I just needed to verify that the card has not been lost or stolen, and that you still have your card Do you have any other questions?’
After you say no, the caller then thanks you and states, ‘Don’t hesitate to call back if you do’, and hangs up. You actually say very little, and they never ask for or tell you the card number. But after we were called on Wednesday, we called back. Within 20 minutes to ask a question. Are we were glad we did! The REAL VI S A Security Department told us it was a scam and in the last 15 minutes a new purchase of $497.99 was charged to our card. We made a real fraud report and closed the VI S A account. VI S A is reissuing us a new number.. What the scammers want is the 3-digit PIN number on the back of the card. Don’t give it to them. Instead, tell them you’ll call VI S A or Master Card directly for verification of their conversation..
The real VI S A told us that they will never ask for anything on the card as they already know the information since they issued the card! If you give the scammers your 3 Digit PIN Number, you think you’re receiving a credit; however, by the time you get your statement you’ll see charges for purchases you didn’t make, and by then it’s almost too late and/or more difficult to actually file a fraud report.
What makes this more remarkable is that on Thursday, I got a call from a ‘Jason Richardson of MasterCard’ with a word-for-word repeat of the VI S A S cam. This time I didn’t let him finish. I hung up! We filed a police report, as instructed by VI S A. The police said they are taking several of these reports daily! They also urged us to tell everybody we know that this scam is happening. I dealt with a similar situation this morning, with the caller telling me that $3,097 had been charged to my account for plane tickets to S pain , and so on through the above routine..
It appears that this Is a very active scam, and evidently quite successful.
The Process of Forgiveness
15 Mar 2011 Leave a Comment
in Spiritual Healing for the Soul Tags: forgiving, forgivness
Forgiveness Makes Us Grow
Is forgiveness a conscious choice, a physical act involving the will, or is it a feeling, an emotional state of being? The Bible offers insight and answers to these and many more common questions about forgiveness. This week my small bible study group is studying about ” Assurance of “Forgiveness” and this is one that I sometimes struggle with so I decided to research the process of forgivness according to God’s word and our humanistic way of dealing with revenge opposed to forgiveness.
Is forgiveness a conscious choice, or an emotional state?
I believe forgiveness is a choice we make through a decision of our will, motivated by obedience to God and his command to forgive.
The Bible instructs us to forgive as the Lord forgave us:
Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Reference (NIV)
How do we forgive when we don’t feel like it? How do we translate the decision to forgive into a change of heart?
We forgive by faith, out of obedience. Since forgiveness goes against our nature, we must forgive by faith, whether we feel like it or not. We must trust God to do the work in us that needs to be done so that the forgiveness will be complete.
I believe God honors our commitment to obey Him and our desire to please him when we choose to forgive. He completes the work in his time. We must continue to forgive (our job), by faith, until the work of forgiveness (the Lord’s job), is done in our hearts.
Philippians 1:6
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. (NLT)
How will we know if we have truly forgiven?
Corrie Ten Boom, a Christian woman who survived a Nazi concentration camp during the Holocaust, said, “Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you.”
We will know the work of forgiveness is complete when we experience the freedom that comes as a result. We are the ones who suffer most when we choose not to forgive. When we do forgive, the Lord sets our hearts free from the anger,bitterness, resentment and hurt that previously imprisoned us.
Most times, however, forgiveness is a slow process.
Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.(NIV)
This answer by Jesus makes it clear that forgiveness is not easy for us. It’s not a one-time choice and then we automatically live in a state of forgiveness. Forgiveness may require a lifetime of forgiving, but it is important to the Lord. We must continue forgiving until the matter is settled in our heart.
What if the person we need to forgive is not a believer?
I have found that prayer is one of the best ways to break down the wall of unforgiveness in my heart, and it’s does not come without a fight, especially if I’ve been wronged and hurt for no reason by others. When I begin to pray for the person who has wronged me, God gives me new eyes to see and a new heart to care for that person. As I pray, I start to see that person as God sees them, and I realize that he or she is precious to the Lord. I also see myself in a new light, just as guilty of sin and failure as the other person. I too am in need of forgiveness. If God did not withhold his forgiveness from me, why should I withhold my forgiveness from another?
Is it okay to feel anger and want justice for the person we need to forgive?
This question presents another reason to pray for the person we need to forgive, as well as pray to God to rid our spirits of revengful thoughts and actions. We can pray for God to deal with the injustices, for God to judge the person’s life, and then we can leave that prayer at the altar. We no longer have to carry the anger. Although it is normal for us to feel anger toward sin and injustice, it is not our job to judge the other person in their sin.
Luke 6:37
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.(NIV)
Why must we forgive?
The best reason to forgive is because Jesus commanded us to forgive. We learn from Scripture, if we don’t forgive, neither will we be forgiven:
Matthew 6:14-16
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins0. (NIV)
We also forgive so that our prayers will not be hindered:
Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.(NIV)
In summary and in closing, we forgive out of obedience to the Lord. It is a choice, a decision we make. However, as we do this “forgiving,” we discover the command is in place for our own good, and we receive the reward of our forgiveness—freedom.
BELOW IS INFORMATION ON HOW TO BEGIN THE PROCESS OF FORGIVES:
HOW TO FORGIVE:
Learning how to forgive others is one of the most unnatural duties in the Christian life.
It goes against our human nature. Forgiving is a supernatural act that Jesus Christ was capable of, but when we are hurt by someone, we want to hold a grudge. We want justice. Sadly, we don’t trust God with that.
There is a secret to successfully living the Christian life, however, and that same secret applies when we’re struggling with how to forgive.
How to Forgive: Understanding Our Worth
We are all wounded. We are all inadequate. On our best days, our self-esteem hovers somewhere between feeble and fragile. All it takes is disapproval—or perceived disapproval—to send us staggering. These attacks bother us because we forget who we really are.
As believers, you and I are forgiven children of God. We have been lovingly adopted into his royal family as his sons and daughters. Our true worth comes from our relationship to him, not from our appearance, our performance or our net worth. When we remember that truth, criticism bounces off us like BBs ricocheting off a platted glass. The trouble is that we forget.
We seek others’ approval. When they reject us instead, it hurts. By taking our eyes off God and his acceptance and putting them on the conditional acceptance of our boss, spouse, or friend, we set ourselves up to be hurt. We forget that other people are incapable of unconditional love- (Definition: Agape is selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love, the highest of the four types of love in the Bible).
How to Forgive: Understanding Others
Even when other people’s criticism is valid, it’s still hard to take. It reminds us that we have failed in some way. We didn’t measure up to their expectations, and often when they remind us of that, tact is low on their priority list.
Sometimes our critics have ulterior motives. An old proverb from India goes, “Some men try to be tall by cutting off the heads of others.” They try to make themselves feel better by making others feel bad. You have probably had the experience of being put down by a nasty remark. When that happens, it is easy to forget that others are broken just like us.
Jesus understood the brokenness of the human condition. No one knows the human heart like him. He forgave tax collectors and prostitutes, and forgave his best friend Peter, for betraying him. On the cross, he even forgave the people who killed him. He knows that humans—all humans—are weak.
For us, though, it usually doesn’t help to know that those who have hurt us are weak. All we know is that we were injured and we can’t seem to get over it. Jesus’ command in the Lord’s Prayer; seems too hard to obey: “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (Mark 6:12, NIV)
How to Forgive: Understanding the Trinity’s Role
When we have been hurt, our instinct is to hurt back. We want to make the other person pay for what they did. But exacting revenge steps over the line into God’s territory, as Paul warned,
Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. (Romans 12:19, NIV)
If we cannot take revenge, then we must forgive. God commands it. But how? How can we let it go when we have been unjustly hurt?
The answer lies in understanding the Trinity’s role in forgiveness. Christ’s role was to die for our sins. God the Father’s role was to accept Jesus’ sacrifice on our behalf and forgive us. Today, the Holy Spirit’s role is to enable us to do those things in the Christian life we cannot do on our own, namely forgive others because God has forgiven us.
Refusing to forgive leaves an open wound in our soul that festers into bitterness, resentment, and depression. For our own good, and the good of the person who hurt us, we simply must forgive. Just as we trust God for our salvation, we have to trust him to make things right when we forgive. He will heal our wound so we can move on.
In his book, Landmines in the Path of the Believer, Charles Stanley says:
We are to forgive so that we may enjoy God’s goodness without feeling the weight of anger burning deep within our hearts. Forgiveness does not mean we recant the fact that what happened to us was wrong. Instead, we roll our burdens onto the Lord and allow Him to carry them for us.
Rolling our burdens onto the Lord—that’s the secret of the Christian life, and the secret of how to forgive. Trusting God. Depending on him instead of ourselves. It’s a hard thing but not a complicated thing. It’s the only way we can truly forgive.
I had to share this because this is one area I know a lot of people struggle with! Search your souls today, and free yourself from the prision of an unforgiving nature. I had a few that I just released this morning through my bible study on “Forgiveness”.
Please feel free to share your responses or ask questions of the believers in this community.
Blessings to ALL!
Jean Keys McKoy
Girlfriends Over 40 Blogger.
Mirror Images
08 Mar 2011 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized
What does your mirror image say about you?
are secret vows
the ones we speak out loud
are the ones we break.
There is only one life
you can call your own
and a thousand others
you can call by any name you want.
Hold to the truth you make
every day with your own body,
don’t turn your face away.
Hold to your own truth
at the center of the image
you were born with.
Those who do not understand
their destiny will never understand
the friends they have made
nor the work they have chosen
nor the one life that waits
beyond all the others.
By the lake in the wood
in the shadows
you can
whisper that truth
to the quiet reflection
you see in the water.
Whatever you hear from
the water, remember,
it wants you to carry
the sound of its truth on your lips.
Remember,
in this place
no one can hear you
and out of the silence
you can make a promise
it will kill you to break,
that way you’ll find
what is real and what is not.
I know what I am saying.
Time almost forsook me
and I looked again.
Seeing my reflection
I broke a promise
and spoke
for the first time
after all these years
in my own voice,
before it was too late
to turn my face again.
“All the True Vows” from The House of Belonging by David Whyte. �Copyright © 1997, 2004 by David Whyte.
Choices
06 Mar 2011 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized
Friendships are conscious choices.
This morning as I was reading this lovely and thought provoking qoute on “choices”
“ Every thought is a choice.How do you choose to express God’s love in this moment?
That is your choice. It is this choice that sculpts the thoughts and beliefs you hold within you,which then shapes the world and the way you see.”
When I read this quote this morning I thought about “communication, trust, and faith”. Why? because all three is key to making good choices. Yesterday, I was in deep thought about the aging process for women over 40. After 40 our bodies and hormones begin to morph into something alien like, and while our bodies are changing our sub-conscious mind begins to wonder in the past… showing us our youth and some of the choices we’ve made in life’s past. Some of our choices were great choices, and others we’d wish we could do over again because of the wisdom we’ve picked up alone the way.
Lately, I’ve been dealing with menopausal issues and fibroids- (whether or not to have a hysterectomy) and if I choose to do so how will it affect my mental and physical state being a 45 year old women without her womb. How will this affect my husband and our intimate time together? All these thoughts were running rapid in my mind and I began creating a pity party for myself. I began calling around to my girlfriends taking them hostage as guest at my pity party.
Then, it hit me after I got off the last phone call. I choose to allow my thoughts to create a pity party. It was selfish and wrong to manipulate my girlfriends to attend my party. What I should have done instead was talk to God about my feelings and fears. After all He is the God of the universe, the creator of all things! I needed to seek and understand from Him why’s? Why do I have a womb to begin with, and did it serve its purpose? Next, I needed to thank Him for allowing me to have a womb that was able to carry and bare my two beautiful and healthy adult children.
I needed to thank Him for giving me a fantastic OBGYN who cares about me, listens to me, and assures me through his faith as a person and a professional. I needed to thank Him for having a loving and caring husband who is walking this journey with me and ensuring me that everything is going to be okay. He tells me – no matter what; he will always love me and nothing about how he sees me will change.
I cancelled the pity party and turned it into a celebration of Life! I began to celebrate life because it could be much worse. Sometimes we bring upon ourselves thoughts that lead to bad choices because we are looking at the situation instead of the purpose. When my doctor told me that I needed to have a hysterectomy because of my fibroids, and with the hysterectomy I would lose my cervix, all I saw was loss and I was in the center of that loss. I should have stopped to think about the last two abnormal pap smears, and the discovery of the HPV virus in my cervix that contains cancers cells, all caused by these tumors that were growing inside of me. I needed to thank God for these discoveries and the medical insurance we have, especially with so many people being without medical insurance today- I was covered to have these procedures.
Our thoughts; when centered on self can be so shallow to the point we miss out on so many blessings that God is trying to bestow upon us. I realize that God revealed my current health condition as minor and repairable. Having this procedure could prevent future problems; like cervical cancer, anemia, heart disease, and more…. I should have thought about the last 14 years spent trying to find my fibroids through ultra sounds and MRI’s as a blessing that discovered other minor issues that have been corrected. I should be thankful for having great medical doctors who spent the last 14 years running test after test trying to properly diagnosis me, but instead I only saw what was happening to me now as the omen. Even though it took 14 years to finally find my fibroids I was blessed to have a team of great doctors who cared about my health. I should be thankful to God that the only thing in 14 years I battled with was an occasional flu, and how 14 years of medical exams has kept me healthy enough to be the “Perfect Match” to donate one of my kidneys to my husband in 2008.
You see God was in this journey with me every step of the way blessing me, and all I could see was self! He never stopped loving me, and most of all He never gave up on me. I realized how selfish I was being about something so simply when they’re women out there today battling cervical cancer, breast cancer, lung cancer and more…Women have died at an early age with cancers, and were not fortunate enough have doctors that cared enough to look and all symptoms and run proper testing in the early stages.
Now, I feel so much better about the choice God and I made to have this procedure. I know that God loves me, and when I consult Him on life’s choices I can’t go wrong!
So, it is true that the choices we make does sculpts our lives in a good or bad way, it’s all up to you to do the soul searching and learn to look outside of self in order to understand the situation and purpose behind it. Once you’ve done this; you need to take it to the maker and problem solver- asking for help in making the right choices!
Praise God, and may He bless you ALL!
Who Am I Meant to Be?
05 Mar 2011 1 Comment
in Uncategorized
Discovering your true self and purpose in life
Forget your career. Forget your role as a mother or a wife. Forget how much money you make or how successful you are. If you’re struggling with the question “Who am I meant to be?”, this quiz can help you figure out what really defines you. Based on personality science, I have identified seven “striving styles,” modes of thought and behavior that direct us to seek satisfaction in different ways. Although everybody is wired with all seven styles, most people have one that dominates. When you engage this innate style, you’ve got the best shot at fulfilling your potential; when you don’t, you can feel stuck.
After responding to the statements below, you will discover your striving style, learn what to do if it’s backfiring from neglect, and find ideas to guide your life in the direction that it was meant to go.
Pearls of Wisdom from a 90 year Old Woman
21 Oct 2010 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized
Written by a 90 year old.
This is something we should all read at least once a week! Make sure you read to the end!
Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .
“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I’ve ever written.
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so called disaster with these words “In five years, will this matter?”
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative, dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”
Its estimated 93% won’t forward this.
If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title ’7%’.
I’m in the 7%. Friends are the family that we choose and sometimes they are one in the same J.
Searching for minority females to help with research study
10 Oct 2010 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized
Looking for African-American Women. Please help
Hello Ladies,
As you know Girlfriends Over 40 mission is to connect women, resources, and experiences together around the world. Below is some information from one of our members; Margaret Bergen, who is seeking her Ph.D in Psychology and is in need of our help. Margret decided to do her dissertation on “Menopause”, specifically how it affects African-American women and women of Asian decent. Please help Margaret by taking the survey at the link below to become a part of what may change the way menopause medically affects the African-American culture.
Martha is share her final results with girlfriends Over 40 via a webinar call once completed. I will also have her write an article for our girlfriends blog when completed.
Thank you in advance,
Jean McKoy
Are you:
o Female
o 40 or older
o Willing to fill out a few SHORT surveys?
If you answered YES to these questions, you are invited to participate in a study being conducted by Martha Bergen, who is a graduate student in Counseling Psychology at Texas Woman’s
University. You will fill out questionnaires about your experiences with menopause and your views about your body. Participation is voluntary. To participate, click below and follow the instructions. The study should take between 15 and 30 minutes to complete.
https://www.psychdata.com/s.asp?SID=135740
In exchange for your participation, you may choose to enter into a drawing for one of four $25 Visa gift cards, and you can request a summary of the results of the study. Thanks for your
interest!
This study has been approved by the Texas Woman’s University Institutional Review Board and is under the supervision of Debra Mollen, Ph.D.
Contact information for questions or concerns:
Martha Bergen, M.A. …. (817) 723-0730 or martha.bergen@gmail.com
Debra Mollen, Ph. D…… (940) 898-2317
Note: There is a potential risk of loss of confidentiality in
all e-mail, downloading, and internet
—————————————————————-
Finding Your Meaning and Purpose
07 Oct 2010 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized
Good Morning Ladies,
I wanted to share with you a great article written by Carol Myss, whose been in the field of energy medicine and human consciousness for 20 years. Since 1982, she has worked as a medical intuitive, providing individuals with an evaluation of the health of their energetic anatomy system. She specializes in assisting people in understanding the emotional, psychological and physical reasons their bodies have developed an illness. Myss is a New York Times best-selling author whose books include Anatomy of the Spirit, Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can, Sacred Contracts and Entering the Castle. Myss’ latest book, Defy Gravity: Healing Beyond the Bounds of Reason, was published by Hay House in October 2009. Visit her website at Myss.com.
I am in the process of discovering my purpose and meaning; which is service to others in the field of helping women and young teen girls realize their self worth, purpose and meaning in life. Please read the article from Carol below.
I always wonder why people think the lives they have are so meaningless. What have you decided is missing from your life? If you are really looking for the love of your life, then don’t tell yourself you’re on a quest for purpose and meaning, because you’ll only increase your frustration. Name the quest you’re on accurately: love, job, purpose and meaning. But don’t mix them up, because you’ll only drive yourself nuts and you’ll only continue to be disappointed.
But if you really have reached that juncture in life that calls you to evaluate the quality of choices you make each day and how you are investing your life force, then you are feeling the pull of the quest to go inward and examine this question: What really gives my life purpose and meaning?
That is a depth charge of a question. In fact, asked in certain settings such as your own sanctuary, it could be considered a prayer. The words “purpose” and “meaning” are subjective. Each of us fills them in according to our own life experience, but there are some special types of experiences that are especially suited to these two words. Think of something in your life, for example, that has meaning to you. That could be anything from a family holiday or birthday tradition to a sentimental gift a cherished friend gave you. Or perhaps you have brought a friend home for the holidays, as I have, and you’ve had to introduce them to all the many traditions that the family follows that make the holiday “the way we’ve always done it.” The Christmas and Easter traditions in my family, for example, include everything from having to eat a certain meal to singing certain songs and so on. These traditions are meaningful to my family, but no matter how enthusiastically we introduce our guests to them, we cannot animate their souls with the sense of meaning that is shared by my family.
Of course, in and of themselves, the meal and the songs and all the other sentimental things we do have no meaning except for that which we project onto our personal world of events, objects, relationships and traditions. Meaning, as well as a sense of purpose, are subjective inner currents that are sculpted in us as a result of our experiences in the larger arena of life. But in addition to our exterior field of influence, what gives our life meaning and purpose is derived from experiencing the inherent creative power contained in our own capacity to make a choice and set a consequence in motion. Becoming truly aware of your own ability to actually set the wheels of creation in motion because of a choice you’ve made is the essence of what gives any life meaning and purpose. We long to create. It is the universal passion of the human being. We are driven to experience our place on the wheel of creation, to add our weight to the way it turns and spins. We yearn for our independence not just so we can go where we want to and speak up when we want to, though that feels good. But that’s child’s play and ego-driven. The deeper part of us yearns to create, to fulfill whatever it is we were born to do—and that requires we take charge of our own power of choice. Meaning and purpose is driven by the engine of choice, make no mistake about that.
Further, a sense of meaning and purpose evolves into something masterful when a human being invests his or her power of choice into the service of others in order to make the world a better place. Numerous people have inadvertently realized that they were living a meaningful and purposeful life, having never had to search for it. Purpose and meaning found them as a result of their having found a cause greater than their own problems to solve. In trying to help solve the problems of others, they drew upon creative inner resources they did not know they had and in the process, changed the lives of others as well as themselves. One example among so many comes to mind of a man named Ken who was going through a very dark and difficult time in his life and decided to volunteer at a hospital in order to take his mind off of his own problems. He told me that his decision was actually selfish; he wanted to be with people who were worse off then he was.
While he was doing volunteer work, he began chatting with some of the patients, sharing with them that he was actually a psychologist. Though he never really articulated it, we could say that this psychologist was on a search for meaning and purpose. His vulnerability seemed to create a trust bridge as a handful of patients over the couple of months Ken was volunteering shared identical stories of having had near-death experiences as a result of accidents or their illnesses. He had never heard of such experiences nor had any of these people, none of who knew of the others, told any one else. Ken decided to pursue research into the near-death experience and from those two months eventually came the Institute for the Study of Near-Death Experiences.
Wisdom on Your Path
1. Invest some personal time reflecting on your definition of meaning and purpose so that you can be clear about what you are truly seeking. If it’s love or a career or wealth that you really want, then don’t confuse any of those goals with meaning and purpose. It’s not that love is without meaning, by the way, but another person cannot be the source of your own meaning and purpose. The ultimate source has to come from within you, lest you come to believe that unless someone loves you, your life has no meaning or purpose.
2. Meaning and purpose is fundamentally a spiritual quest, not a job search. The idea that a person can “have it all” is hybrid myth that has done a lot more harm than good. As one wise person said to me once: “Why would you want it all? Where would you put it?”
3. Purpose and meaning is a quality of grace you are capable of introducing into any number of situations. These attributes of the spirit are earned as a result of you investing your own energies into something and then witnessing the result of your own creativity upon the well-being of others. Purpose and meaning are not found; they are earned.
4. Service to life is an essential ingredient to creating a meaningful and purposeful life.
5. Reflect on what has given and presently gives your life meaning—start there. Know yourself first.
Jean McKoy,
Girlfirends Over 40.net
jean Keys Mckoy
iinadia
